Safely Home
By Randy Alcorn

"This book has been recommended to me by more people than any other book. An incredible story." - Steve H.

"Is this the day I die?" wonders Li Quan as he endures persecution for his faith. Half a world away his college buddy, businessman Ben Fielding, steps on the plane to China. Reunited after 20 years, both men face decisions that will determine their destinies---and the fates of their nations and the world. 400 pages, softcover from Tyndale.

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MARRIAGE & DIVORCE

"Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled..." - Hebrews 13:4

Christians and non-Christians in American get divorced at about the same rate.

DISCLAIMER: If you facing abuse or threats of any nature, find help locally immediately. (Check the blue pages in the front of your phone book.) A web site such as this can only provide general, Biblical based information. The intent of these web pages is to get couples to think about what they are doing BEFORE they get married. This pages provide information about what the Bible says about marriage and divorce. Guidance as to what you should do, if you are facing marital problems, depends on the situation. You should find a Christian marriage counselor who can help you. The following web site provides information about counseling:

Christian Marriage Counseling

What does the Bible say about divorce?

Would you be willing to marry someone who lies to you?

Are you willing to marry someone who says, "We'll be married for a few years and then maybe we'll find other partners"?

I expect you answer, "NO!" to these questions. But in American today half the people who get married are saying "yes" to at least one of the above questions.

If the answers to the above are "no", that means that divorce is NEVER an option. When we get married we promise "to death do us part." So we can only get a divorce if: we lied when we made that promise, or we took the meaning of these words to be something other than physical death.

Point #1 - What this tells us is that we need to be very careful about who we select as our lifelong partner. Making a good decision before marriage, reduces the heartaches and problems after marriage. Getting married is not like buying a car or even a house. THIS IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT.

For example, don't get married JUST for love; don't be blinded by love - marry someone whom you can live with, for the rest of your life. There is more to marriage than romantic feelings.

Don't marry someone and expect them to change after you are married, they won't.

Point #2 - Answering "yes" to the above two questions tells us that divorce is not an option. If we stick to our promises, and agree that "till death do us part" means physical death, divorce is not an option. Don't try to spin it to say, "I meant until the death of our love." Nor does it mean "Until we've grown apart and our relationship has died."

The common understanding of the promise, "until death do we part" is that it means our physical death. If you meant anything else when you made that promise, you should have made your meaning clear to your partner before you got married.

Based on this, when there are problems in our marriage (and there will be many serious problems) our focus can only be on making the marriage work, and not on doing things that harm our marriage. That is the only option.

This brings up several issues. The following questions all were asked in emails we've received. The answers assume the people involved are Christians. When talking about marriage and divorce, the Bible is talking about Christians.

Answers To Your Emails and Questions About Marriage:

a) What do I do if I don't love my spouse anymore?

b) What about an abusive spouse?

c) I'm willing to stand by my wedding vows, but my spouse is not.

d) What if I made a bad decision and picked the wrong person?

e) My spouse is cheating on me. What do I do?

f) I'm divorced, but I've met someone and I want to get married again. What do I do?

g) I'm divorced and remarried. This means I'm committing adultery. What do I do?

h) My spouse is lying to me and hiding things from me. Can we get separated?

i) What if my spouse is brain damaged?