Safely Home
By Randy Alcorn

"This book has been recommended to me by more people than any other book. An incredible story." - Steve H.

"Is this the day I die?" wonders Li Quan as he endures persecution for his faith. Half a world away his college buddy, businessman Ben Fielding, steps on the plane to China. Reunited after 20 years, both men face decisions that will determine their destinies---and the fates of their nations and the world. 400 pages, softcover from Tyndale.

home > Marriage and Divorce

DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE

"but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:32 (NASB)

I'm divorced, but I've met someone and I want to get married again. What do I do?

This has become one of the most common questions we're asked.

This is a difficult question because, in our fallen condition, there is no good answer. There is no good answer.

The biblical answer is that we should not get married again, unless our original spouse has passed away. It does not matter what the civil law says, or what it allows, under God we are married until death do us part.

But to be alone is not always an option. Our desires for a personal relarionship, and for intimacy, are very strong and can lead us into sin. We can easily end up in a situation in which if we remain single we sin, and of course if we remarry we sin. It's a no-win situation.

Biblically remarriage is not an option, unless it is remarriage to your original spouse. You should keep yourself "single" and pray for the healing of your original marriage. However, if you find yourself drawn to other forms of sin such as pornography, sex outside of marriage, and other lustful desires, and your original spouse is without a doubt never going to be available (they've remaried, for example) I think it is better to remarry. It becomes a choice between two evils, and the lesser of two evils may be the only option.

Because to choose sin is always wrong,I truly do not like saying this, and I'm saying this from a perspective of never having had to make this decision for myself. But there does not seem to be a better option. (Please write me if you have a better option.)

My marriage has gone through the difficulties of my adultery and addiction to pornography, and my wife chose to keep our marriage together. She turned to God in prayer, and both my marriage and I were healed -- and as a result I turned to Christ. It was hard, but keeping the marriage together was the only option, and it has turned out to be a wonderful blessing (God knows what He is doing).

If your marriage is having problems here's something to think about:

If you feel the love has gone out of your marriage, here's what to do:

<> Have your spouse move out of your house and into a neighboring home, because God commands us to love our neighbors. Through your love, your prayers and God's healing grace your marriage can be saved.

<> If that does not work, and you can not stand being near each other... you've truly become enemies. Remember that God commands us to love our enemies. Through your love, your prayers and God's healing grace your marriage can be saved.